LAW & ORDER
by silverdragoneyes14
Summary: Someone killed Dumbledore's stuffed bear, Mr. Blinky. Everyone's a suspect. But what happens when the person who everyone thinks is the murder turns out to be someone else? What are all the other alibis? extremely hilarious! i recommend you reading it!
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, although I do own this plot. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it! No – not – not really. Just read it!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in Dumbledore's office. Harry was drawing chalk lines around the victim. Ron was taking notes from the witnesses. Hermione was trying to calm Dumbledore down.

"Professor, it's ok. Just calmly tell me what happened?" Hermione said.

"I, I had gone to get some ice cream for us. And when I came back, he – he – he was torn to pieces!" Dumbledore burst out into tears.

"Was there anyone else in this office beside Mr. Blinky when you left the room?" Hermione asked. Dumbledore shook his head.

"Does anyone know your password? Any teachers? Any students?"

"All the teachers know my password, and the only student who knows it as far as I know is Harry. But Harry couldn't've done it because he was right behind me in the ice cream line!" Dumbledore sobbed. Hermione turned to Harry. He was finished outlining Mr. Blinky's body.

"Call a teacher's meeting. We're going to get to the bottom of this case, Professor." Hermione added as Harry went off to get the teachers.

"Thank you Hermione! Thank you!" Dumbledore said.

"Don't thank us Professor. It's our jobs. Come on, Ron. There's investigating to be done." Hermione and Ron left Dumbledore's office. But not before getting one last good look at Mr. Blinky, Dumbledore's stuffed bear. There was stuffing coming out of the bear.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in the Room of Requirement. They were sitting on comfortable armchairs, thinking really hard.

"Ok, so far, we've got alibies from, Vector, Trelawney, Pince, Binns, and Hagrid. We still need ones from Snape, McGonagall, Hooch, Pomfrey, Prince, and Filch." Hermione said.

"Wait. What about Peeves? He could've done it!" Ron said.

"No way. Even Peeves wouldn't mess with Dumbledore, because he knows he'll go straight to the Bloody Baron if he stepped out of line like that." Harry explained.

"Oh yeah." Ron said.

"I've an idea. To get this done as quickly as possible, we'll split the people up. Ron, you take Snape and McGonagall. Harry, you take Pomfrey and Hooch. And I'll take Pince and Filch. Ok. Let's do this!" They headed to the door and attempted to get out at the same time. They ended up getting stuck.

"Oww Ron! That was my foot!" Hermione said.

"Hermione, your elbow is in my ear!" Harry yelled.

"Ok. On the count of three, we're going to pull ourselves out of this. One, two, three!" They each pulled in an opposite direction. When they were all ok, they ended toward their desired destinations. Hermione went up to Madame Pince's desk in the library. She looked up.

"Yes, how may I help you?" She said.

"I have a few questions for you Madame concerning the attack of one Mr. Blinky. Do you have a minute?" Hermione asked in a professional lawyer type voice.

"Of course. But I had absolutely nothing to do with this case! Nothing whatsoever!" Pince denied.

"I'll be the one to decide that. Now, where were you at appromiximetly twelve noon?" Hermione asked, taking out a pad of paper and a pen. Ready to write down everything Pince was about to say. Pince looked down at the paper and Hermione knew that she was making the librarian uncomfortable.

"W-well I was in the library of course, doing my job." She said.

"Do you have any witnesses who can back that up?" Hermione asked, writing what the librarian had said down. Madame Pince hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Er, yes. Yes, there is one person." She said softly.

"Who, please?" Hermione asked. When she did not get a response, she looked up.

"Who, Madame? I need to know. I may help you; if that is, you are innocent." Hermione said, trying to promote her.

"Of course it's true!" Pince yelled.

"Then who is it?" Hermione said.

"It was, oh, all right, it was Dobby. Dobby the house elf!" Madame Pince said defeatedly. Hermione looked taken aback.

"What was Dobby doing with you?" Hermione asked curiously. Pince didn't answer.

"I'm going to ask you again, Pince, what was Dobby doing with you?" Hermione asked, a little more force.

"If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone?" She asked.

"As long as it's nothing illegal, I won't." Hermione assured. Pince took a deep breath before she answered.

"He was teaching me how to read." She said shamefully. Hermione's eyes grew wide.

"Excuse me? You don't know how to read? How the hell did you ever become a librarian?" Hermione asked.

"You promised you wouldn't tell anyone, so don't!" Pince said sharply. "You got my alibi. So go and get out of my face! I've a lot to do!" Pince finally shooed Hermione away. So next went to Filch's office. She knocked on the door. It opened. Filch's face appeared in the door way.

"Yeah? What do you want?" He asked rudely.

"I've just a few questions to ask you disregarding the attack on Dumbledore's stuffed bear Mr. Blinky this afternoon. Can I step in?" she asked. Filch surveyed her before reluctantly stepping aside to let her in. she went inside the office and sat in a seat in front of Filch's desk. He went and sat in his desk, staring at Hermione.

"Mr. Filch, were you at twelve noon?" She asked, taking out the same not pad that she used for Pince's statement.

"I was in this office." He simply said.

"And what were you doing in this office, Mr. Filch?" Hermione questioned.

"That's my damn business, not yours!" He said roughly. Hermione looked at him in surprise.

"Unless you want to be falsely charged for the "murder" of Mr. Blinky, I suggest you tell me what you were doing in this office, Mr. Filch." Hermione said clearly. Filch glared at Hermione before spilling his answer out to her.

"Fine! Fine! I was learning magic, ok? Everyone here knows I'm a squib! This was my one day off to finally learn something! Now here I am, being accused of murdering an inanimate abject!" Filch yelled. Hermione wrote down everything Filch had said.

"Well Mr. Filch, you are not being accused of doing anything to anyone, because you gave me your testimony. Had you not, you would've been in serious trouble. Good day to you Filch." Hermione said. She walked out of the office, Filch glaring behind her back.


	3. Chapter 3

Ron was outside Snape's office. He took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. "Enter." Snape's voice said. Ron entered the room. He walked right up to Snape's desk.

"What do you want Weasley?" Snape asked.

"I've come to collect your alibi for the murder of one Mr. Blinky." Ron said in a rush. Snape glared at him.

"What?! You're accusing me killing Dumbledore's stuffed animal?! That's absurd!" Snape said outrageously.

"No, professor, you don't understand,. I'm not really accusing you. I've just got to collect evidence that you're the one that didn't do it. All you need to do is tell me where you were at noon today." Ron said. Snape glared at him suspiciously before answering.

"I was in my office brewing up a potion." He said through gritted teeth. Ron wrote that down on the pad of paper as well.

"Do you have any witnesses who can confirm that?" Ron asked, thinking he already knew the answer.

"No." Snape said. Of course, Ron thought.

"Then how will I know you are telling the truth?" Ron said. Snape sat there for a second, before getting up and heading over to his potions' cupboard. He pulled out a tiny vile. He strolled back over to his desk and sat down. He put the vile on his desk to show Ron.

"Know what this is?" He asked.

"No sir. I don't." Ron answered.

"It's Veritsurum. A Truth Potion. 'One drop of this is so powerful, I could have You-Know-Who spilling his secrets.'" Snape said. (A/n: I put quotes around it so I wouldn't get in trouble for stealing the quote. Back to the story!)

"Wow. That is powerful." Ron said. "But how is that going to help you?" Ron asked stupidly.

"How dense are you, Weasley? I'm going to drink it, and anything you ask me, I will answer the absolutely one-hundred percent truth.

"So what are you saying?" Ron asked.

"What I'm saying is that I will drink the potion, you ask what you need to ask, and then be on your way!" Snape shouted angrily. He took the cork off the vile and downed the potion.

"Ok Professor. Where were you at twelve noon today?" Ron asked.

"I was in my office making a potion." Snape replied.

"What potion were you making?" Ron asked, writing Snape's response down. Snape hesitated for a moment. Ron looked up from his writing.

"Answer the question Professor." Ron said.

"I was making a love potion." The answer burst out of him reluctantly. Ron looked at the professor with mild interest.

"For who?" Ron asked amusingly.

"Sirius." He said. Ron stared at him for a moment, his eyebrow raised.

"Are you gay?"

"Yes." Ron looked at him in surprise.

"Why are you making a love potion for Sirius?" Ron asked.

"Because he has sexy hair." Snape said. Ron smiled an evil smile. I could have fun with this he thought.

An hour an a half later, Ron left Snape's dungeon, cracking up. He had been asking Snape all these kinds of personal questions, with Snape always answering them. Ron knew that he would pay dearly for that, but it was so worth it. He headed over to Professor McGonagall's office. He knocked on the door. "Come in." He opened the door. McGonagall was sitting at her desk. He went up to her.

"Hello Mr. Weasley. How may I help you?' She asked politely.

"Hello Professor. As you know, there was a "murder" today, up in the headmaster's office. I've come to collect your alibi. Can you please tell me where you were at noon today?" Ron asked politely.

"Yes. I was in my classroom teaching 7th year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs." McGonagall responded.

"So if I were to ask the 7th year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, they will say that you were indeed teaching them a lesson in your classroom at the time of the murder?" Ron asked, writing all of this down.

"That is correct." She said.

"Ok. Thank you Professor. Have a nice day." And with that, he left her classroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry was heading down to the Quidditch Stadium. He had just come back from interviewing Madam Pomfrey. It was extremely disturbing. Madame Hooch was sitting up in the stadium, polishing her broom. Harry went up to her.

"Good afternoon Madame Hooch. I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions regarding what happened this afternoon. Do you have a few minutes?" He asked, also taking out a pad of paper.

"Of course. I heard about what happened to Dumbledore's bear. Poor thing. Is he alright? Dumbledore I mean to say?" Madame Hooch asked sincerely.

"He's depressed. Right now, though, he wants us to find the "murderer," as he outs it. Now, where were you at noon today?" Harry asked, poised to take notes.

"I was in the locker room." She replied. Harry looked up at her.

"What were you doing in the locker room?" Harry asked.

"I was washing out some of the lockers." She said confidently. Harry gave her a skeptical look.

"According to Pomfrey, you weren't cleaning the lockers." Harry said, slightly smiling. Hooch was starting to sweat. When she spoke, it was full of nervousness.

"W-what-what do you mean? What did she tell you?" She asked nervously.

"She told me you two were, ah, getting to know each other. If you know what I mean." Harry said. He was holding his pen seductively.

"I don't know what you're taking about! You're harassing me!" She said.

"I'm not harassing you. I'm just trying to get some answers." Harry said.

"Well, if you already know what did because of Pomfrey, why do you need to ask me these questions?!" Madame Hooch said, impatiently.

"Because I'm obliged to everyone's alibi no matter what." Harry said. He was having fun torturing Madame Hooch. He just wanted her to say it.

"Alright! Fine! I was giving love to Pomfrey!" Hooch cried in defeat. Harry tried hard not to smile.

"Thanks for your time, Madame." Harry said, and he walked away from her. When he knew she was out of ear shot, he burst out laughing.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry, Ron, and Hermione met back up in the Room of Requirement. They were sitting on the comfy couches again.

"Ok. So did you all get alibis from the professors?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Harry and Ron said.

"Ok. Harry, what are Pomfrey and Hooch's alibis?" Hermione asked. Harry took a deep breath before answering.

"Madame Hooch and Madame Pomfrey were together when the "murder" was taking place." Harry said.

"And what were they doing?" Hermione asked. Harry gave her a look that should have said it all. After a minute, Hermione finally got it.

"Oh. Oh! God, that's sick!" Hermione said, trying to get the mental image out of her head. After five minutes, she calmed down and looked at Ron.

"Ok Ron, what were Snape's and McGonagall's alibis? And if you even say they were together too, I'm going to scream." Hermione said.

"Oh no, they weren't together. That's for sure." Ron said, chuckling to himself; the image of him asking Snape all those questions was just too funny.

"So what were they doing then?" Harry asked.

'McGonagall was teaching a class. And Snape was," He couldn't say it; he started bursting out laughing.

"What was Snape doing Ron?" Hermione said wearily.

"He was brewing up a potion. A love potion." Ron said. Harry and Hermione's eyes grew in shock.

"For who?" They both asked at the same time.

"For Sirius!" Ron said, holding his stomach; he was laughing so hard, his stomach started to hurt. Harry looked like he was going to puke.

"Why was he brewing up a potion for Sirius?" Harry asked.

"Because he said he was gay! And he said that because, because Sirius had sexy hair! And that's – that's not all," Ron tried to say.

"Wait, he actually told you he was gay? Why would he do that?" Hermione asked, trying not to laugh along with Ron.

"Because he took a truth potion so that he can tell me what he was doing because he didn't have any witnesses. So after he told me what he was doing, I asked him all these kinds of questions!" Ron said, his laughing starting to die down due to the fact that he felt like he was going to throw up from all the laughing. There were tears in his eyes.

"What else did he say?" Harry and Hermione asked eagerly.

"He said that he always dreams about Sirius and how he always hated him because he has sexy hair and Snape doesn't. He said that he always thinks of having Sirius as a partner, and – " Ron tried to continue, but Harry and Hermione stopped him.

"Eww! Ron, that's not funny! That's just disturbing!" Hermione said, once again, trying to get rid of the mental image in her head. After everyone recovered from the disturbing news, they got back to business.

"So Hermione, what did Pince and Filch say?" Harry asked.

"Filch was learning magic, you know he's a squib. And Pince, well, she told me not to tell anyone, but you guys don't count, so I guess I can tell you." Hermione said. "Dobby was giving her reading lessons!" Hermione said, starting to giggle.

"What?!' Ron and Harry said.

"How the hell did she become a librarian? How the hell did she even pass school?" Harry said, amazed.

"I don't know. But the point is, one of the teachers has to be lying. We know that Filch defiantly couldn't've done it because he doesn't know magic. We know Madame Hooch and Pomfrey couldn't've done it, because, well, you know. And Snape defiantly didn't do it because of the Truth Potion. Neither could Pince because she had a liable witness. I went to talk to Dobby and he said he was indeed teaching her how to read. And McGonagall didn't do it because she was teaching a lesson, and Ron went to go clarify this with the class." Hermione said. Ron looked up at her.

"Ron, you _did_ clarify it with the class, didn't you?" Hermione asked. Ron put on a guilty face.

"Ron!" Hermione yelled in frustration.

"What?! How was I supposed to know she was lying to me! She said that if I asked the class they would tell me she was right! I thought that if she was really lying, she wouldn't've said that!" Ron said.

"Great Ron! Great! Now we have to go back and figure out who she was supposed to have at twelve!" Hermione said frustrated.

"If it helps, she said that she was teaching the 7th year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs." Ron said, disappointedly.

"Fine. We have to go talk to them. I'm going to go and get Sprout and see if she'll let me into the Hufflepuff House so I can talk to them. Harry, you go to Flitwick and see if he'll let you into the Ravenclaw house. And Ron," Ron looked up at her, "Just stay here and try to keep out of trouble. The two left the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione had gotten into the Ravenclaw house. He was talking to the 7th years.

"So you see, we need to know whether or not she really had you guys at noon today." Harry finished explaining. A Ravenclaw girl stood up.

"We did not have her. We were all at lunch." She said.

"Thank you. That's I needed to hear." Harry said. He left the Ravenclaw house.

Hermione was in the Hufflepuff house, talking to 7th years.

"Did you have a class with Professor McGonagall at noon today with the Ravenclaws?" Hermione asked the group at large. A tall boy stood up.

"Well, for one thing, we don't ever have classes with the Ravenclaws; it's usually with the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. And why would she that we had a class with them when she knows that didn't?" He asked.

"Do you know what happened at noon today?" She asked.

"No." He said.

"Dumbledore's stuffed animal, Mr. Blinky, was viciously murdered and we need to know who it is. We suspect teachers because they are the only ones who knows Dumbledore's password. All the other teachers have given us alibis with liable witnesses. Except Professor McGonagall. She just told us that she was having a class with you guys and the Ravenclaws. But since you guys are saying you didn't, and I'm sure the Ravenclaws are going to say the same thing, I think we caught the suspect." Hermione said. "Thank you for your time." She walked out of the Hufflepuff house.

**_IN THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT_**

Ron was waiting for the other two to get back. I'm so bored he thought. I wished I had a way of fixing what I did. 

"Wait! I know!" He said himself. 'I can go and he head McGonagall off! I can prove to Hermione and Harry that I'm not a screw up!" Ron said happily. He left the room quickly and headed toward McGonagall's classroom. He knocked on the door. No one replied; there was a weird sound coming from the room. It was a scrambling noise, as if someone was trying to hurry. Ron opened the door. McGonagall was frequently trying to pack everything of hers into a suitcase.

"Professor? What are you doing?" Ron asked. McGonagall looked up at Ron with a surprised look on her face.

"Weasley? What are you doing in here? Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" She said irritably, trying to pack as fast as she could.

"I did knock Professor. You obviously didn't hear m e." Ron said. He wanted to keep her hear as long as possible.

"Well, Mr. Weasley, if I do not answer you don't just come barging in! You knock again and wait for me to answer!" She said.

"But you wouldn't've let me in anyway. Would you have?" Ron said in a detective like voice. McGonagall looked at him suspiciously.

"What does that mean?" She said indignantly.

"It means that I know what you did. I know that you weren't really teaching a class at the time of the murder. Do you really expect to get away from this? Because I know that's what you are doing. You're packing to go somewhere where know no one can find you. But let me ask you this Professor; why'd you do it? What was your motive? What did Mr. Blinky ever do to you? He smiled his cute little fury smile all time. He would always listen to what people had to say without interrupting them. He would always be there fur people. He was an outspoken guy. He was also very humble. So why? Why did you do it? Who were you really after? Dumbledore? Or the bear?" Ron said. McGonagall looked him for a second.

"All right, I did it! And you want to know why? Because Lord Voldemort told me to!" She said, her nostrils flaring. Ron looked ay her in utter surprise.

"I thought you were on our side Professor." Ron said. He was confused.

'Stop calling me professor! I'm not your beloved Professor McGonagall! I deposed of her a long time ago!" She said. She put of hand on the back of head and pulled down the mask she was wearing. It turned out it was Peter Pettigrew.

"You!" Ron said.

"Yes! It was me! And I'd do it again too!" Just then, the door burst open. Harry and Hermione ran in.

"We've got you McGonagall!" They stopped at the sight of Peter.

"What is he doing here?" Harry asked Ron.

"I solved the case you guys! McGonagall didn't really do it! It was Pettigrew in disguise! He had gotten rid of her a long time ago! He was acting on You-Know-Who's orders!" Ron said. Harry looked at Hermione. Hermione looked at Ron. Ron looked and Pettigrew. Pettigrew was looking at a random Victoria Secret's Magazine catalog. He looked up at them.

"Oh, yes. I killed Mr. Blinky because he was a traitor to Voldemort." He said, closing the magazine.

"What do you mean he was a traitor? He was a freaking stuffed bear!" Hermione said.

"What you didn't know was that used to bear Voldemort's bear. That is, before he went to stay with Dumbledore instead!" Pettigrew explained. Harry, Ron, and Hermione just stood there for a minute or two, taking this all in.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to come in with us." Harry said. He took out a random pair of childs' handcuffs and put them on peter. He escorted him out of the classroom and all the way to Dumbledore's office. They went in. Dumbledore was sitting by Mr. Blinky's body; Dumbledore was dressed in black robes with a black veil over his face. He was putting rose petals all over the bear's body.

"Professor, we've caught the culprit!" Ron said. Dumbledore looked up.

"Peter! But why? Why'd you do it?!" Dumbledore said in amazement.

"Because Voldemort ordered me to." He simply said.

"That bastard! Who the hell does he think he is?!" Dumbledore said outrageously.

"Calm down Professor. Just tell us what you would like to do with him." Hermione said.

"Throw him in the dungeon!" Dumbledore said.

"Er, Professor, all the dungeons are used for classes." Harry pointed out.

"Then give him to Snape! He'll know what to do with them!" Dumbledore said angrily. Ron laughed.

"Oh, I'm sure he will." Ron sniggered. So they brought Peter down to Snape and left him there. A few days later, they had a big funeral for Mr. Blinky. After that, everyone got back to there lives.


End file.
